You Might Be Technopagan If…

If your athame has a SCSI interface…

If your OBE’s begin with a netsplit…

If your priest robes conceal a pocket protector…

If you calculate the phases of the moon with Windows ’95…

If your altar has a keyboard…

If drawing down a circle is a POST (power on self test)…

If you call the Watch Towers on your cell-tell…

If you do most of your correspondence by email and sign off with Blessed Be…

If you don’t call it a ritual, you call it a Macro…

If you end a circle with Ctl-Alt-Del…

If you have ever attached ribbons to a May Pole using a staple gun…

If you invite the God and Goddess to come online…

If you keep a Disk of Shadows (with encrypted backups)…

If you participate in online rituals more than you do FTF…

If you refer to eclectic ritual as cross-platforming…

If your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group…

If your candles have batteries…

If your cauldron is a crock-pot…

If your deities include Murphy and Gates…

If your drumming is done on a CD player (pre-recorded)…

If your herbs are always mail-ordered (express, overnight)…

If your idea of a great retreat has a Computer City, electricity, and a TV nearby…

If your incense is by Glade…

If your magic wand is a light pen…

If your magical name, email address, and online name are all the same…

If your magical writing is done in binary code or C++…

If your pentacle is made of computer chips…

If your technician compains about the wax and incense ash on your motherboard…

If, instead of asking what tradition someone comes from, you ask what operating system they run…

If your Yule ritual involves defragmentation…

If your coven is spread over a 12,000 sq. mi. area…

If your Book of Shadows has a 6-digit version number…

If you refer to deities using 3-letter acronyms (ODN, LKI, THR)…

If you do cord magick with ethernet…

If you ritually down your server for Samhain…

If your altar cloth is a mouse pad…

If, when your quarter candles burn out, the UPS backup system kicks in…

If erecting the temple entails formatting more than 4 disks…

If casteing the circle changes an (int) to a (float)…

If your Star Trek screen-saver signals when your meditation period is over…

If your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group…

If passing the cakes and ale entails using a /me command…

If your search for truth involves regular expressions…

If your familiar is a computer mouse…

If you draw down the moon using a light-pen…

If your cone of power has a surge suppressor…

If your tarot cards multi-task…

If your daemons collect news for you…

If your crystal ball has a horizontal-hold control…

If you refer to solitary practice as a stand alone…

If you tap into the collective unconscious using Netscape…

If your favorite deity has a homepage…

If the address of your covenstead begins with http://…

and finally, if your circle is a token ring…

…well, you just might be a Technopagan!

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