Wiccan information and resources
If your athame has a SCSI interface…
If your OBE’s begin with a netsplit…
If your priest robes conceal a pocket protector…
If you calculate the phases of the moon with Windows ’95…
If your altar has a keyboard…
Continue reading “You Might Be Technopagan If…”How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
13; consistng entirely of man-woman working couples.
How many Radical feminists does it take?
7; one to do it, two to organize the creche and four to debate the meaning of the word unscrew.
What kind of furniture does a Goddess worshipper prefer?
Wicker
What’s the difference between New Age and Pagan?
About £500 a weekend
What do you call thirteen witches in a hot tub?
A self-cleaning coven
Read about how to create and use positive affirmations, or have a laugh at some affirmations that may not be too out of place in our modern world:
As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
Continue reading “Modern New Age Affirmations”
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,
I write this letter in concern of your daughter, Aradia Moon. Please don’t take this the wrong way, however, although she is a straight A student and a very bright child, she has some strange habits that I feel we should address.
Every morning before class, she insists on walking around the room with her pencil in the air. She says she is “drawing down the moon.” I told her art class is in an hour and to please refrain until then to do any drawing.
Continue reading “Letter to Pagan Parents”
Why keeping summoned beings as pets is a bad idea…
They may be cute and cuddly when they’re little, but they tend to grow. Fast. Into something large.
You can’t flush your overgrown summoned pet down the toilet and no pound will take one. (Trust me on this one. )
Unless you spay or neuter them, they will breed, quickly.
Good luck trying to find a vet that will spay or neuter one…
Continue reading “Keeping Summoned Beings As Pets”As part of an Interfaith community project, a right wing Christian priest, a rabbi, and a Pagan priestess decided that in order to improve relations in the community, they will go on a fishing trip together on a local pond. They’re out in the boat, and the Pagan priestess excuses herself to go to the bathroom back on the shore. She gets out, walks across the water back to shore, and then walks back across the water to the boat.
The Christian priest looks in amazement, crosses himself, and they continue fishing. It comes on about noon time, and the rabbi realizes they left their lunches back on shore. So he gets up, walks across the water to the shore, retrieves the lunches, and walks back across the water to the boat.
Continue reading “The Interfaith Community Project”
‘Twas the Eve of Midwinter, and all through the Coven
The witches were cooking strange things in the oven.
There were mugwort frittatas and Dragon’s Blood stew
And Mescaline eggnog and Mandrake fondue.
There were hot mountain oysters and road-kill pate’
And Spotted-Owl kidneys, and wombat flambe’.
The Circle was cast and the herbs had been smoked
In hopes that the Goddess would soon be invoked.
Never summon anything you can’t banish.
Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge.
Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time.
When proposing to initiate someone, do not mention the Great Rite, leer, and say, “Hey, your trad or mine?”
Never laugh at someone who is skyclad. They can see you, too.
Continue reading “Circle Etiquette”How many robes can a Witch ignite
While dancing too close to the flame?
How many words from the Grimm Brothers’ tales
Can you really expect to “reclaim”?
And how many chants fall as flat as a tack
When you mispronounce each Sacred Name?
Chorus:
The candles, my friend, are blowin’ out again.
The candles are blowin’ out again.