Category Archives: Humour

Wicca is not a solemn and staid religion, just as life is not always serious. It is important to not take yourself too seriously, so take a look at these examples of Wiccan jokes and one-liners and have a laugh.

A Pagan In Hell

A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates. The Pagan asks, “Where am I?” Peter says, “You’re at the gates of heaven.” The Pagan says, “But I don’t believe in heaven.” Peter … Continue reading

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Bill Gates’ Book on Wicca

1. The book would be called Windows to the Goddess. 2. Iconology was be a major chapter. 3. A revised edition would be released approximately every 6 months without which your magic would no longer work. 4. Your broom would … Continue reading

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Candles Are Blowin’ Out

How many robes can a Witch ignite While dancing too close to the flame? How many words from the Grimm Brothers’ tales Can you really expect to “reclaim”? And how many chants fall as flat as a tack When you … Continue reading

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Circle Etiquette

Never summon anything you can’t banish. Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge. Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time. … Continue reading

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Eve of Midwinter

‘Twas the Eve of Midwinter, and all through the Coven The witches were cooking strange things in the oven. There were mugwort frittatas and Dragon’s Blood stew And Mescaline eggnog and Mandrake fondue. There were hot mountain oysters and road-kill … Continue reading

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Keeping Summoned Beings As Pets

Why keeping summoned beings as pets is a bad idea… They may be cute and cuddly when they’re little, but they tend to grow. Fast. To something large. You can’t flush your overgrown summoned pet down the toilet and no … Continue reading

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Letter to Pagan Parents

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, I write this letter in concern of your daughter, Aradia Moon. Please don’t take this the wrong way, however, although she is a straight A student and a very bright child, she has some strange … Continue reading

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Modern New Age Affirmations

Read about how to create and use positive affirmations, or have a laugh at some affirmations that may not be too out of place in our modern world: As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in … Continue reading

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Pagan Jokes

What kind of furniture does a Goddess worshipper prefer? Wicker What’s the difference between New Age and Pagan? About £500 a weekend When the Goddess created men she must have been drunk and horny. What do you call thirteen witches … Continue reading

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Pagan Lightbulb Jokes

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb? 13; consistng entirely of man-woman working couples. How many Radical feminists does it take? 7; one to do it, two to organize the creche and four to debate the meaning … Continue reading

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