Keeping Summoned Beings As Pets

Why keeping summoned beings as pets is a bad idea…

They may be cute and cuddly when they’re little, but they tend to grow. Fast. Into something large.

You can’t flush your overgrown summoned pet down the toilet and no pound will take one. (Trust me on this one. )

Unless you spay or neuter them, they will breed, quickly.

Good luck trying to find a vet that will spay or neuter one… Continue reading

Posted in Humour | Leave a comment

The Interfaith Community Project

As part of an Interfaith community project, a right wing Christian priest, a rabbi, and a Pagan priestess decided that in order to improve relations in the community, they will go on a fishing trip together on a local pond. They’re out in the boat, and the Pagan priestess excuses herself to go to the bathroom back on the shore. She gets out, walks across the water back to shore, and then walks back across the water to the boat. Continue reading

Posted in Humour | Leave a comment

Eve of Midwinter

‘Twas the Eve of Midwinter, and all through the Coven
The witches were cooking strange things in the oven.

There were mugwort frittatas and Dragon’s Blood stew
And Mescaline eggnog and Mandrake fondue.

There were hot mountain oysters and road-kill pate’
And Spotted-Owl kidneys, and wombat flambe’.

The Circle was cast and the herbs had been smoked
In hopes that the Goddess would soon be invoked. Continue reading

Posted in Humour | Leave a comment

Circle Etiquette

Never summon anything you can’t banish.

Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge.

Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time.

When proposing to initiate someone, do not mention the Great Rite, leer, and say, “Hey, your trad or mine?”

Never laugh at someone who is skyclad. They can see you, too.

Never, ever set the Witch on fire. Continue reading

Posted in Humour | Leave a comment

Candles Are Blowin’ Out

How many robes can a Witch ignite
While dancing too close to the flame?
How many words from the Grimm Brothers’ tales
Can you really expect to “reclaim”?
And how many chants fall as flat as a tack
When you mispronounce each Sacred Name?

Chorus:
The candles, my friend, are blowin’ out again.
The candles are blowin’ out again. Continue reading

Posted in Humour | Leave a comment