You Might Be Technopagan If…

If your athame has a SCSI interface…

If your OBE’s begin with a netsplit…

If your priest robes conceal a pocket protector…

If you calculate the phases of the moon with Windows ’95…

If your altar has a keyboard… Continue reading

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Pagan Lightbulb Jokes

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
13; consistng entirely of man-woman working couples.

How many Radical feminists does it take?
7; one to do it, two to organize the creche and four to debate the meaning of the word unscrew.

How many Crowleyites does it take?
They can’t. Aleister didn’t leave any instructions.

How many Chaos magicians does it take?
They don’t need to; they are used to working in the dark. Continue reading

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Pagan Jokes

What kind of furniture does a Goddess worshipper prefer?
Wicker

What’s the difference between New Age and Pagan?
About £500 a weekend

What do you call thirteen witches in a hot tub?
A self-cleaning coven Continue reading

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Modern New Age Affirmations

Read about how to create and use positive affirmations, or have a laugh at some affirmations that may not be too out of place in our modern world:

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed. Continue reading

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Letter to Pagan Parents

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,

I write this letter in concern of your daughter, Aradia Moon. Please don’t take this the wrong way, however, although she is a straight A student and a very bright child, she has some strange habits that I feel we should address. Continue reading

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